We all love our crazy families and luckily, we now know how to bear, I mean…handle them. But, what’s a girl to do when you’re knee-deep in your third potato latke and your Aunt Betty starts asking you awkward questions that make your stomach flip about your future, your non-existent relationship or a pending engagement?! Like, seriously, as if 20-somethings don’t have enough on our minds without having to answer to distant relatives??
What the heck are we supposed to say when we get asked these awkward questions? Cry? Make a joke? Play it cool? Crawl under a desk?!
I’ve listed what seems to be the top awkward AF questions we get asked at this time of year AND how to handle them. Brush up on these terms like flashcards for your next biology final.
Despite the frustrating aspect of these questions, we have to know that our families are just invested in our future.
AWKWARD QUESTION 1: ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?
Regardless of the desire to be in a relationship or not, the connotation of this question often implies that we shouldn’t be single and that we should have been able to find a relationship by now. Which I get that the “conventional” way of life would be to be actively seeking for a relationship, have your relatives seen the options nowadays? I mean, the term f-boy didn’t even exist a few years ago!
So, when you’re asked this fateful question, what’s a girl to say?
OPTION A: DEFLECT WITH HUMOR
You can always make a joke when asked about your relationship status. Why not say something like, “You know everyone is asking me to go out with them but I just don’t like anyone!” Joking when someone asks an awkward question is a fantastic way to change the topic quickly.
OPTION B: ANSWER HONESTLY (yep, I went there)
You can always let your relative know that you are/are not looking. If you are looking, it’s OK to say that you are trying and it’s hard. If you’re not, you can just say you are happy enjoying your 20s.
AWKWARD QUESTION 2: WHEN ARE YOU MOVING IN TOGETHER/GETTING ENGAGED/GETTING MARRIED/HAVING KIDS/[INSERT NEXT RELATIONSHIP STEP HERE]
On the flip side, if you are in a relationship – the questions regarding your next step are omnipresent. The ability to just date, just be happy, seems near impossible even if that’s exactly what you’re doing.
How can you answer without being too vulnerable (and possibly jinxing something, let’s be honest) and still not seem like your relationship is falling off a cliff?!
Taking a page out of Kaitlyn Bristowe’s book (the girl gets asked about her and Shawn B.’s wedding every minute it seems and she handles it like a queen every time), you can always answer with this; You are happy, getting to know each other and not rushing. You will be sure to let them know first thing when anything else exciting happens. Right now, you are just happily falling.
AWKWARD QUESTION 3: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?
Oof, this one is tough. In our 20s, it’s pretty normal to feel a little lost. If we’re on track, it’s also normal to know if we are 100% on track. Fake it till you make it, amiright? I would answer this question with a question. You can always say (in a NOT passive way); I think so – did you know what you want to do in 20’s? This will hopefully launch your relative into a story about their jobs as a 20-something.
You can always ask if they had any odd jobs or jobs they didn’t love. “What was your worst job?” is literally the best way to start a conversation with someone older than you.
AWKWARD QUESTION 4: DO YOU LOVE YOUR JOB?
Every relative that cares about us wants the answer to this question to be yes. And maybe you do (and if you do you are a lucky duck). If you just ‘like’ your job or maybe are even just doing it to get by, which is totally reasonable, I love to answer this question with a recipe for honesty and optimism. Your day job is ok, but regardless, you are learning so much, can learn something from any situation and are grateful to be employed in the first place.
I find this question particularly tough because the people who care about us want us to be happy in a place we are probably spending 8+ hours a day in. I hope for your sake that you do at least like your job, but we also know that sometimes we have to work for money, or as a stepping stone and that’s OK. And it’s OK to be real about that too.